The power of play as an adult
Sarah Langridge, founder of WildStrong Berkhamsted reflects on the need for play as an adult.
It’s the summer holidays, which as a parent can bring mixed feelings. It’s a joy to have more time with your kids, without all the term-time demands, but it can also be wearing. We were lucky to spend the early part of the holidays in one of our favorite places in South Devon; a wonderful place to decompress after the busy school year. It’s almost an instant tonic from stresses of normal life with space for everyone to breathe, although the soggy and blustery weather wasn’t ideal!
Of course it wasn’t all roses, and the normal demands and idiosyncrasies of children prevailed. In those situations, play can be a powerful weapon in maintaining harmony and managing the mood, especially something that involves getting outside and running around. It’s a marvel to watch kids getting involved in something which transforms their mood and that of the whole household. Their ability to get lost in an activity is incredible and something as adults we should probably learn from.
I was reflecting about how as adults we, or indeed don’t, engage in play. ‘Adulting’ is full on and there is always something to do. Of course we hopefully enjoy some fun activities and might engage in ‘play’ through sports, albeit those often have a competitive (equals serious) edge. I feel lucky to have my kids to play with but often find myself not fully engaged, for example when I need to prepare the next meal (or clear up the last). You can stand and observe and gently cheer on from the sidelines slightly removed or jump right in, sometimes literally. And whilst away, I found myself noticing the difference in how I felt when I did the latter.
Like many kids, mine love the water. On a couple of occasions I felt myself ‘supervising’ and being that passive observer. Dull days, with some drizzle, standing in the chilly shallows is ‘ok’. But when I went for it, oh the difference it made. I jumped the waves with my youngest, giggling and marveling, and dived in and body surfed with my oldest, and boy did it make me feel alive! Re-energised and like I could tackle most things.
Driving back as the solo adult on the 5 hour journey home, it was getting a bit fraught after 90 minutes. Time for a stop and a playground. Initially I sat on a bench casually on my phone just to get a bit of space for myself after the recent whining. The girls asked me to come and watch them. Slightly reluctantly, I stopped and went over. I was then drawn to the play equipment and jumped on myself - summersaults on the bar, hanging and a bit of jumping, only slightly conscious of the other adults around me. Getting back in the car, my body felt more aligned and my mind more grounded and it gave me the calm to carry on with the journey. It was less than 10 minutes of activity but it did me the power of good. We get our kids outside and moving when they are getting grouchy, so why not us?
I love running but sometimes it can feel just about one foot in front of the other. I’ve started to build in different movements into my runs – changing my stride over tree roots, crawling along fallen trees, hanging from a tree and the odd bit of jumping. I find myself feeling lighter, and more alive when I do. It takes some momentary effort to go for it, but always feels worth it when I do.
There are many books on the topic which describe the social and scientific benefits of play far better than I can, but our own observations can be just as powerful. My suggestions is to find what works for you at that point in time. It doesn’t have to be much, and whether it’s a preventive tool or to fix a slump in energy and mood, I find play can be so, so powerful. Half the holidays to go and whilst I’m sure I won’t dive in all the time, my intention is to keeping playing!