Should I be watching over my children less?
I have a dutch friend, living in Maastricht. Her seven year old walks to school on her own. I don’t know very many 7 year olds in the UK who are afforded that sort of freedom. My six year old wants to walk to school on his own but there is a major road that he would need to cross.
Towards the end of last year, I listened to Anita Grant speak at Adventure Mind about Adventure Playgrounds. There are quite a few across Britain, and they allow for a level of freedom that many children are rarely allowed – freedom in terms of what they choose to play with, how they play it, how they move through space either on their own or together, but also freedom from being watched over by an adult.
Anita cited a Bob Hughes quote that has stayed with me – "It has somehow become normal for children to play while being overlooked or managed by adults." It resonates a lot with our more playful focus that we're using around adventurous play and physical literacy.
There's a map from a study by Dr William Bird that looks at the area that a child could roam at the age of 8 across four generations of one Sheffield family. Every time I see the map, it shocks me. An 8-year-old in 1919 walks 6 miles on their own to go fishing. An 8-year-old in 2017 walks 300 yards on their own.
There’s a lot of reasons of why children in the Netherlands have more freedom than those in the UK and most of that comes from years of consistent investment in the child friendly urban design. Which in turn helps to foster a sense of community pride and an understanding of how important this approach is to everyone’s wellbeing.
All of this has got me thinking about my assumptions as a parent but also as a citizen - perhaps I had normalised the way we currently live in the UK and it wasn’t until I had children that I realised how much time I spend passively watching them and how much of this comes from my own fears of cars driving too fast.
It’s also got me thinking about how we run our WildStrong classes. When we started WildStrong, for me, it was very much about carving out time away from my children, where I could just be me and focus on the challenges of the day. But now we have so little wrap-around care we need to rethink some of that and make our work fit around the children.
So, within my community, what can I do?
Reclaiming streets through community action
Globally, individuals are reclaiming residential streets through temporary closures to through traffic. The concept of "play streets" offers communities the opportunity to use these spaces for interaction, emphasising the idea that streets are meant for people rather than cars. These road closures serve as small yet impactful measures, paving the way for children to experience the freedom to play outdoors in their neighbourhoods. The success of these initiatives suggests the potential for scaling such practices throughout the entire city. Have a look at the brilliant resources provided by Playing Out CIC.
Lobby my Council
I can lobby for our local council to provide a crossing or lollipop person on the major A road that runs outside our school. Parents have been on this campaign for 5 years and funding cuts mean it's no longer a priority. Perhaps with a few of us who have recently joined the school, we can bring fresh energy to the campaign.
Rethink my assumptions about after-school care
We have very little wrap-around care, which means that a lot of the time the children are home while we're working. They are 6 and 4, so they need less supervision, but in winter they are playing less outside in the after-school slot. I know that if we were outside, they would be too; it's just very cold, and you can't "pop outside" easily.
So, we've shifted one of our classes to right after school. The children come and play in the woods, the younger ones tend to stay closer, but older ones we don't see until the end of the class; there are no hard and fast rules.
We hear them shrieking; sometimes, we hear them crying, but mostly they sort it out, and by the end of the hour, it's very difficult to persuade them to come home.
I like the idea of normalising them playing alongside us, seeing the skills we're working on and practising them themselves or just being in the woods away from us. Both of our children move very differently – one finds it very easy, and the other struggles. I'm aware that as they grow up, school puts emphasis on competitive sport, and one of them may want to be in the teams, and the other one may not. I'm also aware that because we run WildStrong and we're out in all weathers playing around with movement, there is a fine line between positive role modelling and forcing our children to join in. I hope that by being exposed to more of what we do, they will find their own rhythm and their own relationship with movement.
Every child is different and I respect that. Striking a balance between offering a supportive structure and allowing them the freedom to determine their own path is always a balance.
I've never been very good at New Year's resolutions, but perhaps taking steps that will allow me to watch my children less is a good one?
What steps could you take to help the area you live in feel safer for children? We live rurally, so the dangers here are mostly cars. We have plenty of green space avialable to us, but it is difficult for children to access them alone. I understand in an urban area parents fear are different. Let me know your thoughts.
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I really enjoyed this report from ARUP - Cities Alive, designing for Urban Childhoods
