What’s stopping you from doing the thing?
Last week we held a webinar that was a little outside our usual territory. We called it “What’s stopping you from doing the thing?” because I couldn’t think of a better title..
It came from conversations that keep popping with participants on our in-person courses. There seems to be something in the water. Quite a few of us are looking at our lives and thinking that something which used to fit doesn’t feel quite right anymore.
THere are so many of us that know we want to do something outdoors, bring people together or make a change in our working lives. We’ve gathered ideas and skills, but we’re not quite sure how the pieces fit together yet.
Sometimes we want to change careers, or to drop a day at work and start something alongside it and something we just want to get a few people together in our local park.
So I invited Mary Sroka and Katie Paterson to have a conversation about it. Mary is an executive coach who started outdoor movement classes after coming on our Peak district course last year. Katie works in communications and founded The Outsiders, a walking community in Edinburgh - and came on our Fife course earlier this year.
We didn’t have a fixed outcome in mind - we just thought it might be useful to get people together and see what happened.
Then 270 people registered! Which, for the record, is considerably more than most of our webinars unless we’re talking about bone density.
Clearly, there was something to talk about.
There was no shortage of ideas
Once we asked people what their “thing” was, the chat filled up.
Becoming a bicycle mechanic, moving from finance into garden design, getting more women cycling, bringing different generations together outdoors, starting a movement group, a coaching practice or a community project.
One person wanted to leave self-employment and find a job that felt more meaningful. Others were thinking about purpose in retirement or how to make a change while keeping family life at the centre.
There was so much knowledge and experience in the group and some very familiar worries: money, time, confidence, criticism, choosing the wrong course, not being good enough.
And then someone wrote that the chat itself was reassuring, because so many people clearly felt the same.
That felt like a useful place to start.
You’re allowed to want something for yourself
One of the things I appreciated about our conversation was how honest we could be about why we’d started.
Katie started The Outsiders because she was lonely working at her laptop. She wanted to get outside and meet people. Mary wanted people to do outdoor movement because she enjoyed it.
The beginnings of WildStrong were fairly similar.
I’d moved to a new area, had two small children and wanted to meet people locally. I wanted to be outside, and I wanted something that was about me for a little while. I love my children, but at that point they were very small and I occasionally needed reminding that I was a human being independently of them.
Sometimes we put pressure on ourselves to have an impressive explanation for wanting to do something. But wanting company, more time outdoors, enjoyable work or a bit more freedom are all useful things to recognise. And if you’re noticing a gap in your own life, other people may be noticing it too.
Being a beginner is a useful feeling to revisit
Mary told us about trying flying trapeze. Katie had signed up for an improv course and nearly turned round on the way there. My example was knitting, which felt considerably less exciting. I’m left-handed, and for years people had told me how difficult it was to teach left-handed people to knit. I’d somehow absorbed that as a reason why I couldn’t do it. Eventually, I went to a knitting group. Everyone else was doing extremely advanced knitting, and I was very much the beginner in the corner. They were very tolerant, I was terrible. Both things were fine, I think.
It was a useful reminder of how exposing it can feel to do something unfamiliar, particularly when you’re used to being reasonably competent in other parts of your life.
Starting a class or sharing an idea can bring up that same feeling. You’re putting something out there before you know how it will be received.
Mary suggested examining the assumptions underneath it. If you’re convinced nobody will come, what are you basing that on? Could you ask a friend to come with you? If only two people turn up, what could you learn?
Some decisions deserve a great deal of thought. Others are small experiments you can change afterwards. It helps to know which one you’re actually making.
Money and responsibilities belong in the conversation
There were important questions about earning a living, too. Could something be enjoyable, accessible and useful to a community while also providing an income?
We talked honestly about how difficult that can be.
WildStrong grew alongside other work. We initially ran sessions voluntarily, and I was able to reduce my working days gradually as it developed. Having that financial breathing space made a huge difference, and I was fortunate to have it.
Running a weekly group that brings in some extra money involves different pressures from replacing a salary. Both are worth thinking about properly, including all the work that happens around the bit you actually enjoy doing.
Someone in the chat described changing jobs as crossing monkey bars: finding a way to establish the next handhold before letting go of the last one.
I thought that was a very good description. There are ways to explore a change gradually, within the responsibilities you already have.
You probably have skills you’ve stopped noticing
A few people said they struggled to identify what they were good at beyond the usual things you put on a job application.
It’s easy to discount something because it comes naturally to you.
Katie and Mary suggested asking two or three people who know you well what they think you’re good at. You might be the person who puts newcomers at ease, connects people, explains things clearly or notices when someone is struggling.
Those things are hugely important when you’re bringing people together.
My own experience as a reluctant exerciser has shaped WildStrong enormously. Andrew brings his coaching knowledge and experience. I bring a fairly strong understanding of why someone might not want to go to an exercise class in the first place.
That combination has been useful.
It’s also helpful to remember when you start looking at what everyone else is doing online. Comparison can make it very easy to forget what you were trying to do and why it mattered to you.
And, as Katie reminded us, starting something locally doesn’t automatically require an Instagram career. Existing groups, community spaces, noticeboards and conversations are all ways to reach people.
What’s the smallest version you could try?
Before WildStrong had a name, my sister and I tried exercising together.
We were extremely enthusiastic. Then someone’s child got ill, or something came up, and we cancelled. It turns out that sisters can be very understanding about cancelling on each other.
We invited a few more people. A friend told us we needed to give it a name, otherwise it would remain a thing we cancelled.
So we had a name, a regular time and a WhatsApp group. If one person couldn’t make it, the whole thing carried on.
It was small, but it was enough to get us going.
Katie described her approach as “hot potato”: take a small action rather than holding onto the idea indefinitely while trying to solve every future problem.
Send the message, ask someone for a conversation, put a date in the diary, try a small version and pay attention to what happens.
Mary also offered a question I liked: what’s the best thing that could happen? It’s worth giving that a little space alongside all the things we’re worried about.
A bit of company helps
By the end, people were sharing where they lived and asking whether anyone was nearby. Others wanted to know how we could keep the conversation going.
We talk a lot at WildStrong about building the skills, knowledge and confidence to keep joining in. This conversation felt very connected to that. People had things they wanted to contribute, and having a bit of support made those ideas feel more possible.
I still don’t know exactly where this goes next. We’re listening to what people found useful and what they’d like more of.
For now, if you’ve got a thing you keep thinking about, perhaps write it down. Think about why you want it, what it needs to fit around, and one small way you could explore it.
Then think about who you’d like alongside you.
Listen to Katie Paterson on the Playful Nature Podcast
